I just wanted to…

All those times I sent up flares, or maybe lobbed grenades, or maybe joked about something that was too tender for jokes, I just wanted to let you know I was here. If I wasn't there for you, as me, please know, I always wanted to do better.

All those times I barged in with my opinion, my story, a new point of view, I just wanted to be seen. If I trampled something tender that you were aching to share, please know, I know now, I was trying to be seen without revealing too much.

I just wanted to connect, as me, with you, and to open something new for both of us, all of us, to share and be nourished into growing something true.

All those times are behind us now. Probably they are irretrievable. This is hard to accept, but that's where the work is now - now, I just want to show up where I am, where you are. The door is open.